The New Improved NOMAD?????

A review of Nomad?! Were you looking for updated reviews about the famous scam known as Nomad?? Here you are at the right review.

Every where on our dirty mauritian roads you can see huge billboards about NEW IMPROVE NOMAD. So what does this mean? Has nomad really been improved?

A quick silly introduction for those who live on the sky! Nomad is another Internet Service Provider like Mauritius Telecom. That is it provide you people with internet services and connections. Now every buddy know about the famous Nomad Scam!

Thats is “jamais gagne rezo! Ou kan ena la pluie pa gagne rezo..!!!” Bon sa unta ena coumsa. But I don’t wanna be a foolish ass always complaining when I found something quite satisfactory. So let me tell you my adventure with Nomad!

First time I used nomad…was at my cousin’s place and the truth is that the connection made us suck!! It was 3 years ago.

Second experience with Nomad was last year. I took their famous Rabbit Modem from Infotech on trial for one week. Of course no need to ask me my real intention…I took that for one week free and already thought planned to return it after one week. Ti zist envi abuse unpe lol.

So I took the 512 Kb on trial and really I liked it but…well it was reasonable. Mone bien download unpe villain film and songs and small games tou!

Then I returned their stupid Rabbit the next week. Hah I felt good to have abuse their service…not good you say?? I don’t care!

So after wasting my fucking time with MTML dial up for about 3 months this year I return with Nomad. Yea i saw their ugly billboards about NEW IMPROVED NOMAD! So I wanted to try. I took the 64 Kbps modem this time as it is cheaper…about Rs 632 per month.

Well till now I am quite satisfy with the Rabbit Modem. I am having a respectable internet connection and downloading my songs and all. Of course I use a download manager to accelerate download…but the connection is still reasonable. So what I am trying to say??

Well the Nomad Connection surely sucks for many of you but the connection depends on where you live and about your surrounding density! I live nearly near a mountain and there not so many damn house around…so the connection is reasonable. But I got a friend who live at about 5 Km away from me and his connection of Nomad really suck!!!!!

So it depends on your location. And here my opinion about Nomad’s new marketing strategy…

Their new billboards says NEW IMPROVED NOMAD! So? This shows that Nomad itself agrees that their service was just shits??! Well atleast if I was their marketing manager I would not have done this…They are just telling people that: “Hey you fool! We gave you a sucking service till now! Now we have improved!”

So you are thinking that I am critisizing their marketing…but I have myself register with Nomad after this advertisement??

I choosed Nomad as it was the only ISP available to me. I wanted myT but I don’t have a Mauritius Telecom phone line at home. And surely I don’t like to wait till they come and install my phone line! I planned to use MTML new AZU adsl but the price of installation is so damn hot!!! So I choosed Nomad. But I am quite satisfy with it.

So here the end of this long palab lor Nomad! – Sponsored by MauriHost! Get Your Own Free Web Hosting!

Circulation Port Louis Version Original!

I just made a cup of coffee la and was thinking what should i write! Last night my girlfriend told me “update sa blog unpe avish”. So I’ll be posting the original version..the uncensored version of “Circulation Port Louis” here today!

The article was posted on Priscus and Priscus Blogger version by my very own girlfriend of course…and bien sure li ti censor li akoz I dnt care to zour dimoun when I write. She send the article to le defi…and I’m still waiting if those guys will publish it lol. Here is the original version I initially wrote! If your dad is a minister then get the fucking out of here as you won’t be able to hear the insult toward him!

5….4….3….2…..1…..here it is….

Tous les zour bisin ena dimoune ki plaigner pu ale port louis gramatin akoz ena problem congestion routier. Chemin xtra bloker et dimoune tarder pu rentre dans travail et sa ban retard la cest un des ban cause stress. Wai paski ena dimoun ki sorti zot lakaz 7:00 le matin pou reci rent dan travail avant 8:45!!!! Mai comme dabitude ena unta salot ki pou fer galant ar zot loto gramatim mem lor loto route et block chemin! Bon assez insulte dimoun…li pa ethical ha! Wai wai I am ethical once a time once a month!

Government li tro ocupe ar ban project ki coute par milliard pou ki li adapte un solution simple pou la route morice. Bien sur les zenfant…ek solution simple sa veu dir pa buku cash et en d”autre mot sa veu dir moins cash pou zot fout dan zot poche!

Alor ban mauricien bizin aret depan lor SA government la mai pluto truv un solution zot mem. Pa just SA gouvernment la…mai tou suckers who come ena mem fucking lesprit sa…alor truv en solution zot mem!

En temp ki citoyen honorab de lile paradiziacticaly hellbound ile maurice..tous mauricien bisin responsable ek trouve ban solution simple! Wai bel dialog!

Apres un bon moment observation nu in trouve un…solution bien simple. Kapav beaucoup dimoune in bizin pense sa oci.Mai coment troi quart moricien ete…zot zist pense apre zot pense zot camarad ki pou adopte li! Zot pou plake…et zot pa pou prend action zot!

Guete…et comprend ha bien….

Gramatin ena buku dimoune ki ale Port Louis tou seul dans zot loto et sa cest un des ban plus grand problem! Mo pa gagne comprend kifer tou dimoune bizin prend zot loto al travail Port Louis et apres kan zot arive dans capital zot bizin rod parking coment zako….mo ti pou dir “zot bizin soucer pou rod parking…” but li unpe tro vulgair hein?!

Mo cone ki loto li confortab. Be un meilleur solution ti pou ki la CNT met so ban bus Blue Line lor unpe tou la route ki al ver Port Louis. Pa zist Vacoas to Port Louis!!! ET ban dimoune dan place prend loto aler, zot kav al par blue line. Li comfortable et climatise!

Zot gagne chaud??? Ena climatizer dan blue line! Zot content sofa compfortab? Blue Line la comfortabe! Coment dir salon et to gagne Le Matinal tou pou lir! ALor si tou dimoun ki pa VRAIMENT BIZIN LOTO LA POU SERVI DAN LA JOURNEE…zot kapav prend bus! Zot pou economiz cash lor lessense et oci pa block chemin pou lezot dimoun. Mo comprend ki ena dimoun bizin transport la acoz zot ena field work tou sa…b sa c ok! B pou ban lezot ki nek glace ar loto la????!!! Fout sa loto dan ou garage et prend bus trankil!

Bon un lot ti zafer concernant blue line….mo p dir dimoun prend blue line. Wai li mari confortab…b ena oci sa ban vieu blue line kin dechire unpe partou la!! CNT ti kav PA MET sa ban vieu bus la dan le matin!!!! Paski nou pay cash en plis pou voyage dan blue line! Ban nuvo bus la wai li confortab…b ban unpe vieu la…ceki 2005 et 2006 tou sa la…sa zot mari en couyonad!

Pense si just 400 dimoune aret al par loto et prend bus. Sa fer 400 loto de moince ki pe al port louis et just 8 bus assez pou transport zot! Pense ki difference lespace lor chemin sa ena. Entre 400 loto ki pe block chemin et just 8 bus ki pe roule librement.

Ca c’est n solution ki pu aide contre congestion et oci contre pollution. Pou ena moince pollution.

Bon ena un lot problem majeur lor nou chemin! C’est kan ban espece gro palto la pe passez dan zot Mercedes ou Aston Martin, ban policier ki soidizant bizin deblock circulation la, zot mem zot block dimoune pou fer sa ban zimage la passez! Sa c’est un lot problem et ki oci block circulation. Mo comprend ki nou bizin donne priorite ambulance, pompier et la police kan zot met la sirene…be sa ban gopia ministre la???? Si zot mari presse…zot ena pou sorti dan zot trou bonheur zot oci! La veille election zot vine souce dimoun pou gagne vote…et kan zot vine ministre…zot block chemin dimoun pou zot pass avant.

Et sa deu troi minute ki zot block chemin pou zot passe la…sa em assez pou create un traffic jam enplus! Ena dimun kanmo dir zot sa…zot dir moi be normal ministre sa…li en priorite! How stupid???! Li ena priorite pou kwa?? un ambulance mo compren… c la vie un dimoune ki en jeux. Be ministre la???

Bon mo cone ki mo ban artik unpeu tro long b when i write…i can’t stop. If you wanna see the “Gentil version” of this article…its here!

let me know what u think et mem si zot pa dakor et envi zour moi..sa si corek em lol. A+

The Mindless Soldiers!

Common Dialog de Maurice!!!

A list of common dialogue en creole for you talking pleasure. I compiled this list from many websites and other forums in one place. Use with moderation where needed. Children…be careful with these else mom will kick your ass with a stick!

4 : la mort
7 : voler
15: sein
23: sexe d’une femme
36: sexe d’un homme
66: homo

likutorti : A fould word which has been censored!
Google: Mean Allez cabri en anglai. So guess the creole word!
Siloye man : c’est super
Highway net : c’est cool
Emplas sa : j’suis d’accord
Péna fuite : pas de problem
Pren compte : regarde ca
Chek to life : prend-toi soin
Faire mardaye : tricher/voler quelqu’un
Kasse paké/pé rassé : faire un travail excellent
Boire dissang : paresseux
Krévère/Crape : radin
Mét la faya : animer une fete
Plin tank : beaucoup
Péyé la caisse sa : c’est excellent
Kousse net : très bon
Pissaar : super bon
Manz ar li planche : travail sérieusement
Mari nissa : air de fete/très bon
Tir difé lor coltar : fait bonne impréssion
Rass la vie : se sauver
Faire tamtam : faire la fete
Pik so ourite : le faire perdre
Tir so mangé : empecher/stopper quelqu’un
Dan napas : compren rien
Bouz fixe : sans succées
Mo larmé sec : mon meilleiur ami
Chacké : aller se promener
Bave dan mo mine : tu me dérange
Pitaye : l’argent
Batte ene la colle : faire une proposition (a une fille)
Passe ene di bère : essayer de convaincre
Van la messe : divulguer un secret
Masse caro : vilain visage
Pé donne bal : en abondance
Pé batte sec : n’a rien eu
Ene tracère : qui est débrouillard
Pa casse tete : ne t’en fait pas
Met baton dan la roue : Empecher quelqu’un
Kassère nissa : celui qui gache la fete
Metère nissa : celui qui anime
Pren nissa : taquiner
Ene mari zimage : un idiot/stupide
Kasse dan tas : s’amuser/faire l’amour
5 bajas : 5 buts a zero
Faire ène lizaz : aider (l’argent)
Yam sans voir : jetter un coup d’oeuil sans se faire voir
Sou tapis/sou cou/soumarin : secrètement
Dan difé : dans un gros problème
Choko loko : faire l’amour
Ranne gaz : n’en peut plus continuer
La corde : quelqu’un qui est moche
Mari matte : c flop/rien d’intéréssant
Sa ki li : c’est ca!!!
Sa mem sa : éxactement
Mam coller : trés bon ami
Manz gousse : pot de vin
Pé glacé : se vanter/ se faire voir
Kasse rosse : un travail a temp partiel
Lé temp margoze : le bon vieux temps
Batté bef : battus a platte couture
Faire gaté : caresser
Ser lérin : faire des économies
Largue so lécourse : punir quelqu’un
Pé trouve zéclair : voit rouge
Pé trouve lizour : la lumière au bout du tunnelle
Balié Karo : une victoire écrasante
Manev coiffer : Get dan figur
Roul lor zante : sek net – pena cash
Dresser : Korek

Bon ena unta enkor coumsa…tro buku pou ecrir. I don’t so much time to waste lol. So if you know enkor which are not in the list…then share it in the comments here.

Bon appretisaz ban zenfoot!

Anguish Reloaded

Football Betting In Mauritius Now Legal!

Football betting has been officially launched in Mauritius last Thursday 5 June 2008.

As all of you must know, the only legal betting prior to this date was Horse Racing betting. But we always had illegal bookies who used to take international football bets in Mauritius. Yea…if you are an innocent angel and didn’t know about this…then you learned it just now.

So finally football betting has become legal last week and now all of you who got a hole in your pocket or got too much money..you can throw your money at the betting companies and make them rich while you still suck to become a millionaire!

I work part time in the betting field and was among the first batch to see the new football betting system. So I’ll be giving you a short guide on how it works and so on. Woo…the truth is that Horse Racing betting is far more simple when it comes to work on the system to take bets lol.

The legal companies offering football betting as from last week are Tote Lepep, SuperTote, Bet Online and I think there are 2 or 3 other shits ex-bookmakers who have started a company for football bets too. Don’t know their damn names yet.

But the most popular ones are the ones I said above.

So as you all know, yesterday the famous EURO 2008 started and football betting in Mauritius started with this event. So how it works and what are the type of bets?

There are home-away-draw bets, group winner, cup winner, points bet and best goalscorer etc.

Home-away-draw bet is where there are two country playing the match and you just have to say which one will win or if the match will be a draw! Thats all. If you guess it right…you win.

Group winner is where you have to say which country will be the winner in the selected group. Example Group A winner is for example Switzerland.

Cup winner is where you have to say which country gonna win the EURO 2008. Simple.

Point bets is where you have to give the exact final score of a match. This one pays much more than the rest! Usually for Rs 100 you can get up to Rs 5000!!!

Best Goal Scorer or Best Player…etc…is where you specify which player gonna take the specific place. Also pay very well!

Well these are the ones people play the most. Minimum bet at Tote Lepep and Super Tote is only Rs10! Well another good innovation is about doing multiple bets on football match! For example you can play on a match with Rs 100 and place all the money you win on another match automatically just like in horse racing.

So…good luck if you are going to play. And if you win lots of money don’t forget to give some donation where it is really needed.

Article Update of 14 february 2009: You can now have the latest football betting odds HERE.

Catch That Son of a Bitch!!!

If you are allergic to foul languages, please don’t read this!

So ugly cold today. I’m still on bed and writing this on my laptop.

Did you heard about that university girl who got raped at Sodnac?? Well…it’s only yesterday that I learned that! Sure..sure..I do live on the cloud…!

Infact I heard that on the radio on the same day it was first announced but I was in a hurry to go to work (My part time) and didn’t listen well. So yesterday while we were at Shoprite, my girlfriend told me about that and then I also learned that the victim was a university student. The same university I go to!!! So you know how it feel?? I just got the feeling that we gonna smash the sex of that rapist!!!

Well I am writting this post NOT to advise the chicken police force or anything like this but instead I wanna express my feeling about this situation. Most of you know that my posts here and other blogs are sometime…many time rude and very indecent! So today it will be more than that!

So I learned that the son of the bitch who did that is got a fucking face like shit…and he is one of the GENETIC TYPE who wear the same fucking clothes everyday and pretending to be a BIG BIG sucking roadside romeo with a damn silly mobile phone he robbed from another decent Mauritian…with short dusty ugly hairs! Hmm…you’re Mauritian..so you know what I’m targeting to say! Saying am racist??? Come on don’t fuck up things…we all know that these type of peoples are found everywhere in Mauritius!

Check dans ban la gar…en plus zot sorti zot vine lor bus stop just kan lheur lekol pou fini…pou vine guet fam!!! Pou vine prend nissa are fam lekol! Unta ena coumsa!

Kan ena soleil…zot senti zot mari! Met tou kalite linge multicolor and lev zot bar savon dans lheur pou fer galant lor chemin! Fam pa guet zot mem…mai zot senti zot galant mem! S amem apel ******! (censored pou ki zot pa dir mo tro racist!)

Mai seulment coment un ti cyclone vini…to tand dir zot mem ban dimoune defavorize et ki government bizin aide zot!!! Are we kidding?

Mari just kan ena soleil…

So I recently heard that our CPF (Chicken Police Force) finally got him?

And what will now happen to him? Send him to courts 5 to 10 times…and then throw him in some fucking jails and feed him much more food than he used to got on the road or at mom’s place??!!!

Did anyone thought about that girl who got raped?? What about her feelings? What about the trauma she went through??

Now after the worst has happened our dear police frogs are showing off that they are being more vigilant everywhere! For how much time?? 2 or 3 weeks?? Then everything just come back to the same fucking normal!!!