We going to discuss about something really serious today on IC Love! This post was supposed to be posted yesterday but since I had a very tiring day and was hyper-stress I am doing it today. The topic of the day is what can be the effect of a good lie in a relationship. I know the title seem a bit awkward.. Worry not. Its just SEO!
So I was talking about lies. Lies can be classified as bad lies and good lies. Well, I mean that if someone lie for a good cause then we can call it a good lie and if someone lie for his own selfish need or to protect something bad then we can call it a bad lie. A bad lie is bad! But here the topic of discussion is whether a good lie can lead to a scandal? Here we are talking about a good lie in a relationship.
Lets examine two very simple case. Both are inspired of two persons I know and I am refering to the example of their real life but without using any names.
Case 1:
A guy and a girl are married since more than 5 years. After all these years, one day the girl tell the guy that she had lied to him many years ago about her previous love relationships! Infact when the guy and girl first met and started dating, the girl told the guy that he is her first and only boyfriend (love). They got married after a long dating season. About five years later, the girl think that she has to tell the truth to her husband and told him that she dated about 3 other guys before him!
So from this case, we can assume that the lie was a good lie. Why? The reason for which the girl lied was that she was afraid that the guy would not accept her as she was if she would have told him that she dated 3 other guys before him and maybe that she had sex with them too. Now my question…. No wait. Lets see case 2 then we shall discuss about the whole topic.
Case 2:
Now case two is about a guy and a girl ofcourse. So in this case, the guy met the girl and after some more meetings they started dating. As they date, the guy told everything about his past to the girl and asked that the girl too say eveything about her past. The gild told the guy that she had 4 boyfriends before and that she had sex with two of them. They discontinued their relationship due to some problems… for example in one case, one of the girl”s previous boyfriend has cheated her etc.
She also told the guy that she has had some minor flirt relationships and kissed two other guys. Now about two or three months later, the girl and the guy are still dating when the girl decided that its time she say the truth to her current boyfriend. So the girl told the guy that she lied and didnt told him about another guy with whom she had a relationship in the past. She told the guy that she met a guy on a social network some time ago (before she started dating her current boyfriend ofcourse) and that they even went to have sex at a bungalow. The boyfriend was very angry when he heard this fact after 3 months of dating and they fought! The guy was even going to break up with the girl.
So this is case 2. From case 2, the girl lied because she was afraid that the guy would abandoned her if she would have told him about that very indecent act of going to have sex at a bungalow. So again it was a good lie…or if you want a lie to not break a relationship.
Now my questions. Can these lies be justified? What would have been your reaction if you were the guy in case 1 and your reaction if you were the guy in case 2? Do you think that lies can really be good and bad or is it that lies are LIES?!
In both cases, the girls did not betrayed the guys but they hide something very important. Is this a very serious offense or must the guys take this as the past and forget? Are the girls guilty?
Do share your opinions. So this was a different episode of IC Love 
No tips today but mainly a topic to think about and discuss. Please note that these cases are real but I have not mentioned any name for very ethical reasons.
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Kurt Ulrich Avish
TimeBack: Can A Good Lie Be As Serious As The Watergate Scandal? http://is.gd/b2OCt
Lady
The past is the past. When u accept a person, u shouldnt care where hez from, what he did, etc. We give too much importance to the past and less to the present and future, and thats one big mistake IMO. If we only look backwards we’ll never progress in life. And yeah why is sex b4 marriage such a big issue for Mauritian guys? I think what’s important in the two case senarios is that the girls didnt cheat on their husbands. Their ‘mistakes’ were done b4 commitment with their current partner, not after. And I think there’s no place for the word ‘lying’ in both cases;they simply hid the truth.
Kyu
yups, mais psychologically i think it might have an impact on their daily lives. i mean, revealing the truth (even late) can be considered a good thing, yeah, but then again its like planting the seed of doubt, suspicion and the like, which can lead to a considerable tension and hinder advancements in their relationship
Chaya
A lie is a lie….Everyone agrees! But when to consider it good or bad, it depends on the situation! According to the first case, had those two not been married, then it could have been a bad lie and hence could have ended the relationship (could apply to case 2)…But after 5 years of marriage, at least the truth was out!
The important thing is to know the truth from the person concerned whether it’s now or later, but not from a third party!
Above all, in a relationship, it’s a matter trust, sincerity, comprehension and love!