Breaking News: The Mauritian internet is effing slow since today morning. According to our reports, an optical cable theft was reported today at the smelliest submarine base of Orange Mauritius in the Indian Ocean. Somalian pirates are believed to be behind this theft.

According to special data obtained by Hubble Space Telescope today, the Somalian pirates were wearing a Blue-White-Red uniform while going toward Orange’s submarine base early morning today. Two of the ugly pirates dived in and broke in the submarine base to steal important maps showing the location of the Optical cables.

The ugly Somalian pirates then stole about 13000 metres of optical cables before being chased by some purple sharks. They dumped everything amid the Indian Ocean while trying to save their lives. However the Mauritian Internet is right now suffering from this heavy damage of the optical cables.

As such since today morning almost all citizens of Mauritius are complaining about an Internet speed which is slower than the usual one. Point to note: Those using normal dial ups will not really notice any change in speed but those using broadband speed will have their connection speed really reduced.

This issue is also affecting Emtel Wimax (which we use) since MT is the only big daddy in this country who offers the network to big time retailers such as Emtel and others. As the Polish Man will say:

Disclaimer: Please note that this story is arrogantly a mockery toward the Internet Service Provider, Mauritius Telecom. All data are fake. The only true part is that the Internet is damn slow today in Mauritius and complaints from different users are flying across the local websphere. Reason: We don’t know because Orange staffs are at home today. Have a look at a screenshot of a speed test of Emtel Wimax 512 kbps today.

Maximum speed is nearly that of a slow dial up. MyT users and even normal ADSL users are also experiencing such problems.

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