Life is not always easy, and anyone who says otherwise has never been in a situation where they need to make a choice between personal happiness and the happiness of another. I found myself reflecting on this notion the other day; a family member of mine was going through a divorce.
His wife left him unexpectedly (so he felt), and he spent many months in a deep depression trying to understand how the one person who was supposed to love him forever didn’t want to be with him anymore. While myself and other family members offered him our support, I couldn’t help but understand the perspective of the runaway wife.
Clearly, she was unhappy, and was it worth staying with a man who, while he was a “good” man and didn’t beat her, do drugs, or drink himself into a stupor, she wasn’t happy with. Just because he was a good man didn’t mean he was a good man for her. So, was she expected to stay in that marriage where she wasn’t happy just to preserve the feelings of someone who probably didn’t deserve to be hurt so horribly? In my opinion, no.
You can make yourself happy
I think there comes a time when people have to accept the fact no one can make them happy but themselves. I think anyone who is unhappy needs to find that thing which makes them a happy, productive person, because if you are not happy, other areas of your life will suffer, even if no one else sees it. I think sometimes our distain of making others unhappy makes us sacrifice our own feelings; which isn’t always a bad thing. Sacrifice for another is a true testament to humanity, but it cannot come at the cost of a lifetime of happiness.
Everything happens for the best
So, the moral of my rant today is that, while we may be quick to judge others for something such as a divorce or a broken relationship, perhaps it was only a kindness in the long run. Unhappiness in a relationship will eventually turn to bitterness, a thing which can lead to greater hurts than just someone leaving. People who are bitter can become vengeful, and that is an entirely different kind of hurt than just walking away from something that isn’t working.
If we are so quick to preach tolerance about religion and sexual preference, we should be just as quick to understand that judging another’s actions, regardless of what they are, should be practice very carefully; you never know how someone may be suffering, even if they seem to have the ideal life on the outside. For me, I don’t believe in putting up and shutting up. Take a stand in your life for once and do what you need to do to become the best you there is.