How To Have A SucSEXful Marriage?

By now, we all know the stereotypes about sex and marriage. How many TV sitcoms have we seen, poking fun of the fact that, as soon as a man and a woman tie the knot, their sexual passion for each other begins to wane? And how many romance novels have portrayed marital intimacy as stagnant as boring, at best—and non-existent, at worst?

Couple on bed

The fact is, we live in a society that celebrates sex when it is glamorous, exciting, and perhaps even a little taboo. Movies and TV shows glorify, or at least express an interest in, sex that is either pre-marital or extra-marital. The intimacy shared between husband and wife, meanwhile, is more often the butt of jokes than it is something worthy of honor.

The good news, however, is that these stereotypes don’t have to dictate the realities of your married life. You and your spouse can, and should, enjoy all the benefits that come from regular, passionate intimacy, within the confines of a marriage.

Easier said than done, you say? Certainly, sustaining the spark of passion is tough in any relationship. Here are a few ways to help you keep that spark alive with your husband or wife.

The best place to begin is with the right perspective about marriage. Your marriage should be spouse-centric—yes, even if you have children. Many couples make their kids the center of their family life, and even of their marriage. Don’t fall into this trap!

Remember that your kids will one day move out, but your spouse is there to stay. Make him or her your central focus!
It’s also important to have a right attitude about sex. Sex is not the most important part of life or marriage—but it is hardly unimportant, and in fact it offers many benefits. The way to have a really great sex life, though, is to focus on satisfying the needs of your husband or wife, always.

Regular intimacy is going to be a lot easier to achieve if you’re also spending regular time together. A date night/mate night is not a silly idea at all, especially for couples who are busy and find it hard to find time together. Try to make it a regular habit, finding time to spend just the two of you—without kids or household chores anywhere in the equation.

Here’s one just for the husbands:

Men, it is your duty to take some initiative in keeping the spark of romance alive. How can you be romantic with your wife? Try cooking her dinner, cleaning the house for her, buying her flowers (on a day other than Valentine’s), or simply leaving her love notes!

Finally… make it a priority to remember special days, like anniversaries, and celebrate them together. In the Bible, God commands us to set aside certain days, and to remember why those days are special. That’s a great principle for us in our spiritual lives, but it’s also a great principle for our marriages.

This was a guest author contribution from Andy Body. Andy represents Ed Young’s Fellowship Church in Dallas, TX. To get more news and information, follow Ed Young on Twitter at

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